STUPID IS A FIVE LETTER WORD
If You Weren't So Ignorant, I Wouldn't Need to Do This Every Night
Lucky we have the MSM or we would have to take our president at face value.
Listen up, you mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, gun-toting, sister-humping, Bible-thumping, six-toed, slack-jawed, fly-over mutants with your receding foreheads and prominent supraorbital ridges on your stupid faces. Everyone's getting really tired of having to explain this to you virtually every single freaking day.
The President is amazing. Got that? Amazing. Write that down...A. M. A. Z. I. N. G. And DO NOT move your lips while you write it. Jee-EEE-sus!
Amazing. What that means is he never makes mistakes. Never. Not with the Olympics, not with Solyndra, not with Gitmo, not with the stimulus, not with Fast and Furious, not with Tom Dashcle, or Tim Geithner, or even Michelle. And certainly not when he speaks. He is a brilliant speaker.
Making mistakes is what YOU do. That is why we all need this amazing president. To keep you retards from doing stupid things, like building businesses and then thinking you're so smart. And that is also why I am here every single night setting the record straight, as if it matters at all to people so stupid that you actually believe what the president said is what he meant.
When our most magnificent president said, "... look, if you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own. You didn’t get there on your own. I’m always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart", you knee-jerking dimwits out there thought he was saying that you are selfish and ungrateful for all the help government has given you and that you are flat out wrong for taking any credit for anything you've done. You think he was actually saying that you can't do shit without government and that because of that anyone who happens to stumble across success should just forget that they had anything in particular to do with it and pony up. Pay up and then shut up. And that made you angry.
So let me be very clear on this: Because you're angry, he didn't say that.
There. I can't believe I have to explain this to you over and over. If you're angry at something President Obama said, he didn't say it. How much simpler does it have to get for you people to understand? It's like when you got all pissed off about the "spread the wealth around" comment or the "at some point you've made enough money," remark, or when he said, "'This is my last election. After my election, I have more flexibility,'" to the freaking Russian president about freaking missile defense.
So listen, one more time. If it makes you angry, you heard wrong. Got that? Damn, people. Are you really that stupid?
Come on. This poor president has already dumbed down his speeches to the level of 9th graders for the Europeans -- and we all know how much smarter they are than you. He basically has to get down on all fours and bark for you idiots to understand him.
How do you think this makes him feel? Lonely. Yes. Miserable. Yes. Superior. Of course. Think of him once in a while. What must it be like to rule a nation of complete dumbasses and to have to even speak to you at all? No wonder he is moving as quickly as he can to eliminate the Constitution. Damn thing makes him beholden to people who resemble a bunch of thick-browed Neanderthals atavistically dumped into the 21st century as VOTERS. This beleaguered giant of a man only shows his amazing forbearance that he speaks to you at all.
Amazing. He's just amazing.
A. M. A. Z. I. N. G.
And shut your mouth when you try to think.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Home 
