Great perspective!!! I am loving it!!! GGGG!!!

Glad you likey. Here's something a little differant.

The "Foo" bird
In ancient times there was a community known as the Goodnu's. As all communities did in these times the Goodnu's lived right on the river bank for trading, transportation and sustenance. Water was almighty and worshipped as a God. One day there was a tremendous hurricane far out in the ocean. It's ferocity blew a large flock of "Foo" birds way off course sending them inland many hundreds of miles and in the vicinity of the Goodnu's community. The Goodnu people had never seen a "Foo" bird and were quite curious as to it's sudden and obviously evil presence. The "Foo" bird, as we all know, is a very ugly, evil-looking bird. This caused the Goodnu people to become very uneasy believing they did something wrong to God and that this bird should be avoided. One day a "Foo" bird flew overhead and screeched: "Foo, Foo" and shit on a Goodnu's head. The man ran screaming into the river believing the Holy powers of the river would cleanse him of this evil turd and its consequences. As soon as the man washed this unholy turd from his ear canal he suddenly keeled over and died. The Goodnu's were now convinced of the "Foo" bird's evilness. The next day a woman was outside and heard: "Foo, Foo". Before she could react the "Foo" bird dropped a bomb landing a syrupy turd across her face. Shocked and panicked she ran into the river furiously washing her face of this sloppy stew. The village watched in horror as this woman also died once cleansed of the runny turd. The very next day a village wiseman heard those famous words: "Foo, Foo". He like others had witnessed the terrible deaths of two of his villages' people in the last two days. He too was struck right in the forehead by the "Foo" birds accurately guided turd missile. His first reaction was confusion and he sprinted towards the river. However, he stopped short and thought of his obvious demise should he cleanse the turd wafer from his forehead. He did not cleanse the poo pile from his forehead and lived. So the wiseman went to the other people of the village, gathered them around and stated to them: "There is an obvious lesson here my good people. The moral of this story is: 'If the Foo shits, wear it.'".

Oh My!!! GGG!!

Rufus and Clarence 5/20/11

There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks.... Rufus and Clarence. They lived on opposite sides of the river and they hated each other. Every morning, just after sun-up, Rufus and Clarence would go down to their respective sides of the river and yell at each other. "Rufus!!" Clarence would shout. "You better thank yor lucky stars I cain't swim... er I'd swim this river and whup your ass!!" "Clarence!!!" Rufus would holler back. "Ya’ll better thank your lucky stars that I cain't swim either or I'd swim this river and whup your skinny butt!!!" This happened every morning for twenty years. One day the Army Corps of Engineers comes along and build a bridge. Still, every morning, every day for another five years this yelling across the river goes on, even with the bridge. Finally, Mrs.Rufus had had enough. "Rufus!" she squallers one day. "I cain't take no more!! Every day for 25 years you've been threatenin' to whup Clarence’s ass. Well, there's the bridge... go git em." Rufus thought for a moment, chewed his bottom lip for another moment. "Woman!" he declared, snapping his suspenders into place, "I'm gonna cross that thar bridge and I'm gonna whup Clarence's ass!!!" He walked out the door, down to the river, along the riverbank, came to the bridge, stepped up onto the bridge, walked about halfway over the bridge, looked up... turned tail and ran screaming back to the house, slammed the door, bolted the windows, grabbed the shotgun and dove under the bed!! "Rufus!" cried the misses. "I thought you wuz gonna whup Clarence's butt!!!" "I was, woman, I was!!" he whispered. "Rufus!" cried the misses. "What in tarnation is the matter?" "Well," muttered the terror-stricken Rufus, " I went to the bridge... I stepped up on the bridge... walked halfway over the bridge… looked up..." "And?" asked Mrs. Rufus, breathless with suspense. "And," continued Rufus, "I sawed a sign that said "Clearance, 13 feet, 6 inches." He ain't never looked that big from the other side of the river!"

Very typical of the Ozarks!!! LMAO!!!

Aint that where that Ahole slick willy comes from?