There was once this idealistic, young, good-looking and magnificent new lawyer that recently passed the Bar and he was offered to join this large law firm, because he had so much magnificent potential.

So the law firm made him all the fancy offers… a new car, a million peso acceptance bonus, a condominium in Makati… yadda yadda yadda.

But the lawyer was so idealistic that he told the firm: “Thank you for your offers but I must know… what is your firm’s policy on pro bono cases?”

The firm partners looked very serious and asked the new lawyer for some time to discuss the matter.

The partners got together in a huddle and debated and argued and discussed the matter. After an hour of this, one of the partners finally could take it no longer and approached the young lawyer.

He said: “Uhm… what’s pro bono?”

ROFLMAOPMPCGU!!!! GGG!!

I take it that tickled your funny bone.

I likey!!!

GGG!!!

Q: What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
A: Your honor.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
A: Not enough cement.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton

Q: If you have a bad lawyer, why not get a new one?
A: Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titanic.

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.

Q: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?
A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech>
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
A: Just say, "Fees!"

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.

I love lawyer jokes!!!

GGG!!!!

Why You?

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. A local volunteer called to solicit his donation, saying "our research shows that even though your annual income is over a $1-million, you do not give one penny to charity! Wouldn't you like to give back to your community through The United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a moment and says: "First, did your research show that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh, no."

"Secondly, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology but is cut off.

"Thirdly, that my sister's husband died in a dreadful traffic accident", the lawyers voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says simply, "I had no idea."

The lawyer then says"...and if I don't give any money to THEM, why should I give any to you?"

Moral to the story - Don't ask if you don't want to know!!! LMAO!!!

I guess so. GGG

Testimony

An Amish man named Smith was injured when he and his horse was struck by a car at an intersection.

Smith sued the driver.

In court, he was cross-examined by the driver's lawyer:

Lawyer: "Mr. Smith, you've told us all about your injuries. But according to the accident report, you told the investigating officer at the scene that you were not injured at all?"

Smith: Well, let me explain. When the officer arrived at the scene, he first looked at my horse. He said 'Looks like he has a broken leg,' and then he took out his gun and shot the horse. He then came up to me and asked me how I was doing. I of course immediately said "I'm fine!"

Anybody with an ounce of sense would have said the same thing!!! LMAO!!!

In my travels, I once saw a sign called "The Two Men at Law". One of them was painted on one side, in a melancholy posture, all in rags with this scroll: "I have lost my cause." The other was drawn capering for joy, on the other side, with these words: "I have gained my suit". But he was stark naked. Benjamin Franklin

How true!!! GGG!!!

You are enjoying this too much, so I'm giving you the link for this insane asualt on lawyers. LMAO!!!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I likey!!! Some pretty good ones there! I will continue my reading and enlightenment!!! GGG!!!

Good I'm glad, look down the whole page. At the bottom there is more places to go to read.